We'll Be Here For Him
by TrekkieL
Summary: When Dean walks in on Castiel's suicide attempt, he struggles to understand why his angel would do such a thing while trying to convice his lover to tell his brother, Gabriel, so he can heal. Established Destiel and Sabriel. Rated T for suicide attempt and self harm. Fluff, mush and crying included.


Castiel sat on Dean's bed with his angel blade against his wrist, thinking about everything he'd done.

He'd betrayed Dean. Again. His boyfriend. Why did he have to mess everything up? The more he tried to protect Dean, the more he messed up and the more he messed up, the more upset Dean got. Dean wouldn't miss him. No one would.

Castiel drew his angel knife across his wrist, cutting through his vessels skin and watching the blood flow down his wrist and drop on the floor. He pressed the knife deeper to cut the vein when the door opened and Dean walked in with a smile on his face. When he saw Cas, the smile melted immediately.

"Cas?" Dean stepped forwards. Castiel looked shocked, the knife still to his wrist. "Cas... give me the knife." Dean held his hand out. Castiel didn't know what to do. "Please, Cas." Dean now stood beside Castiel, his hand over Castiel's on the knife. Castiel blinked away tears and handed Dean the knife. Dean put the blade in his back pocket.

"Cas? Why?" Dean asked, kneeling down in front of the angel and taking his hands in his, placing one hand over the cut wrist. Castiel looked away.

"I should go."

"Don't you dare fly away!" Dean growled. "Why'd you do this, Cas? You could have died!" Dean cried. Castiel turned to Dean.

"That was the intention." Castiel replied bluntly. Dean's body shook, trying to hold the tears in.

"Cas... Why would you even try something like that?" Dean asked. Castiel looked down at Dean's hand over the cut on his wrist.

"I've betrayed you too many times. I ruin everything. You don't want me around. No one would miss me if I left." Castiel replied.

"Of course I want you around. We all do. You're family. And I would miss you to hell and back." Dean replied softly. "If you really wanted to go... Why not simply return to heaven?" Dean asked, his voice breaking.

"Because I would still hear you. I would hear still feel the guilt. It wouldn't solve anything." Castiel replied.

"Cas... I need you. I love you. You can't... Please. Don't leave..." Dean let the tears flow. "Please. Don't go..." Dean cried, gripping Castiel's hand desperately. "We'll help you. I'll always be here. Sammy and Gabriel too. We're all here. We'll help you. You need to come to us for help when you need it. You don't need to hide it. Just... Stay. Please." Dean rested his head on Castiel's knee, still gripping his lovers hand. "Please..."

"Dean?" Castiel placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, kissing the top of Dean's head. "I'm not going to, Dean. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Castiel sighed as he stood up, causing Dean to lift his head. Castiel knelt down on the floor besides Dean, pulling the older hunter onto his lap and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Cas? Can you heal that?" Dean asked. Castiel shook his head, kissing Dean's temple.

"It's an angel blade. It would take another angel to heal it." Castiel replied. Dean looked up.

"Cas? You need to tell Gabriel." Dean told him. Castiel eyes widened.

"No! No, he can't!" Castiel cried. "He can't know!" A tear fell down his cheek. "Don't make me tell him..."

"Cas... Please. He has to know. He can heal you." Dean sighed, standing up and pulling Cas up. "Please, you need to tell him."

"Would you tell Sam if you'd done this?" Castiel asked.

"No, but he's my younger brother. My duty is to keep him safe. I'd want to know if he'd done it, but I wouldn't tell him. Now, Gabriel's your older brother, yeah?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded. "So, I know that he would want to know."

"I don't want to tell him, Dean." Castiel looked at the ground, wiping his eyes. "Please... Don't make me." Cas trembled.

"Sorry, Cas. We're going to tell him, even if I have to drag you." Dean took Castiel's hand.

"No... Please..." Castiel sobbed. Dean caressed Castiel's cheek, wiping the tears.

"Come on." Dean smiled reassuringly. "He'll only help you."

"Okay..." Castiel sniffed as Dean took his hand and led him out the room.

Gabriel and Sam were flirting with each other at the table while Sam was researching some creature. "You're gonna hurt your eyes if you look at that screen any longer." Gabriel smirked. Sam looked up.

"You're so hot my eyes burn when I look at you." Sam replied lamely. Gabriel chuckled.

"Well, don't wanna burn your beautiful eyes. Maybe I should leave." Gabriel winked.

"Maybe you should stay." Sam smirked, standing up and walking behind Gabriel, kissing the top of his head.

"Gabriel?" Dean voice spoke. Sam and Gabriel both turned to see a worried looking Dean and Castiel with tears streaming down his face.

"Hey, what's up?" Sam asked. Gabriel just stared at Castiel.

"Cas has something to tell you, Gabriel." Dean sighed, pushing Castiel forward lightly. Castiel trembled, moving closer to Gabriel.

"What's wrong, Cassie?" Gabriel asked softly. Castiel turned to Dean, who nodded in encouragement. Castiel lifted a trembling hand to his sleeve, pulling it up so Gabriel could see. Gabriel gasped, taking Castiel's hand gently in his and bringing his brother wrist closer to see.

"You... You did this?" Gabriel asked, standing from his chair. Castiel nodded, looking at the floor and letting the tears fall. Gabriel placed a hand over Castiel's wrist. A gold light danced around the wrist before quieting down and healing the wound.

Gabriel suddenly wrapped his arms around Castiel's neck, pulling him into a hug.

"Why didn't you say something, Cassie?" Gabriel asked, his own tears falling. Castiel trembled again, whimpering slightly. Gabriel pulled him closer. "You should have said. I love you, Cassie. How do you think I would have felt if I found out my younger brother had killed himself?" Gabriel asked gently, rubbing circles on Castiel's back. Castiel shook his head.

"I promise to tell you how I feel next time." Castiel muttered. Gabriel nodded.

"Good. I don't want you getting hurt, or hurting yourself. Got it?" Gabriel asked, pulling away. Castiel nodded, wiping his eyes.

"I think we should all go and get pie and talk about all our problems." Dean spoke up. Castiel smiled slightly.

"You want to do that, Cassie?" Gabriel asked. Castiel nodded.

"Awesome. Come on, Cas." Dean took Castiel's hand and pulled him outside to the impala. Sam walked over to Gabriel.

"Hey, you okay?" Sam asked, wrapping his arms around Gabriel.

"My little brother... I never imagined..." Gabriel turned to Sam, his eyes filled with tears. "How can I help him?" He asked. Sam pulled Gabriel close.

"We be there for him. All of us." Sam replied. "He'll be okay. We all will." Gabriel nodded.

"I hope so."


End file.
